Biblical Reference: Matthew: 27:64-66, 28:1-7, Luke
16, John 20.
Theme: Jesus Christ has risen from the grave and those that believe
in him and are baptized, shall be saved.
Cast: Narrator, 1-Tribune, 1-Centurion, 2 -Solders (Guards), Martha
a former slave, Bubbus the gardener, Cookus, the chef.
Setting: The scene of the crime in the garden at the home of Joseph
of Aramethia.
Props: The characters in this skit are based on those from television show
“Dragnet.” The Tribune (The Roman Tribune in charge of local law
enforcement) and Centurion (Chief Investigator) are main roles. The dialogue
is delivered in the same matter-of-fact manner as in the Dragnet television
show.
NARRATOR:
Music - Dum-Da-Dum-Dum
“This is the city; Jerusalem. It’s a city filled with tensions, suspicion
and hatred. It is a melting pot of diverse peoples and cultures. The largest
resident population is Jews. Roman Legions occupy the city and maintain law
and order for its residents under the direction of a Roman Governor. It is
late afternoon and the Tribune in charge of the local law enforcement group,
the Fourth Urban Cohort of the Roman Army, is speaking to his Chief
Investigator. They are responding to the scene of a reported Burglary. The
Tribune has been directed to personally investigate the Burglary that occurred
in the rear garden of a home that is owned by a well-to-do local resident, one
Joseph of Aramethia. The Tribune is explaining the nature of the assignment to
his Chief Investigator who will assist him with the investigation.”
Tribune and Investigator: (Enter from the rear of the sanctuary
and walk down the center aisle towards the stage. They both take seats and
begin to speak to each other).
Tribune: (Commander of the 4th. Cohort speaking to Centurion
”Centurion, it has been reported that a person or person(s) unknown made
forcible entry into a sealed tomb located in this garden in the rear of this
home. Because the owner of the property is a VIP, we have been ordered
to conduct the investigation rather than someone of lesser rank. That’s why
I brought you to assist me.”
Centurion: (Chief Investigator): “I’m glad to help. I needed
to get out of the office for a while anyway to go down to the shoe shop. My
sandals need to be half-soled (looking at sole of sandal) and the shoe
shop is right on the way home. By the way, was anything stolen from the
tomb?”
Tribune: “Only the body of a Nazarene we executed. He was buried
there a couple of days ago.”
Centurion: “Oh, an X-XVI (grave robbery), eh? That’s not a major
crime. What’s makes this so important?”
Tribune: “Nothing, except that the owner of the property is some
wealthy merchant from Aramathia and the tomb had been placed under the
protection of Rome because the deceased was a local agitator and had a
following. Two of our guys were on duty guarding the tomb during the time when
the incident took place. It looks like they may have been sleeping on duty.”
Centurion: “That makes us look real bad, doesn’t it? What did
our men have to say about it?”
Tribune: “Not much. Seems they aren’t sure what happened.
That’s why we’re here at the scene to re-interview them and look for
clues. You can drop off your sandals afterward.”
Centurion: “Fine with me. Do we have anything to go on?”
Tribune: “Not really. The lab boys have already been here and gone.
We don’t have a report of their findings yet. We do know one thing for sure
though.”
Centurion: “What’s that?”
Tribune: “That corpse didn’t just get up and walk away!”
Music:
Dum-Da-Dum-Dum
Tribune: “The first person to be questioned is Martha, a
recently freed slave, who is in charge of the residence while the
owner, Joseph, is away. She is known for her skills at (get this) home
improvement and does a weekly how-to class for Women down at the
Bazaar.”
Centurion: “Women should really leave those things to us men!
(Both nod in agreement) Look, this may be her coming now.”
Tribune and Centurion: (Are approached by a middle aged
female wearing a toga and a tool belt with hammer rule, etc. who
hurries over to them.)
Martha: “I’m really glad you officers showed up. My name is
Martha. That’s M-A-R-T-H-A! I’m the one who sent for you. My
Master, Joseph, left town yesterday for his family home in Aramathia.
He was upset with all of confusion, noise and crowds of people in town
for the crucifixion on Friday and wanted a little peace and quiet. He
left me in charge of the household as usual. I know he will be furious
with me when he finds out what happened. This is the first time we
ever had anything like this!”
Tribune: “Why don’t you tell us what happened.”
Centurion: (matter of factly) ”Just the facts Ma’am.”
Martha: “The Master was really upset because he apparently
knew the man they executed and wanted the man to have a decent burial.
He donated his own burial site for that purpose and convinced the
Romans to let him bury the man there. He made sure that the huge stone
that covered the entrance was securely sealed in place before he left.
Do you know, it took three grown men to roll that stone in place and
the master still was worried until the two soldiers arrived to guard
the tomb. How could anyone have entered the tomb with those soldiers
on guard duty?”
Tribune: “That’s what we’re here to find out Ma’am.”
Centurion: “Was any one else present in the home between the
time when the body was buried and the burglary was discovered?”
Martha: “The Gardener, Bubbus, was here all weekend. He
starts work early each morning, long before sunrise. He is the one who
noticed that the stone had been rolled away and found the guards
asleep. He’s just over there inside the greenhouse
(points to other side of garden) You’ll have to be patient with him.
He’s from the southern part of the empire and is not too familiar
with our ways. The light is on, but there’s nobody home, if you know
what I mean. Shall I call him?”
Tribune: “Yes, please. One more question Ma’am. Do you have
any idea who might have done this or why?”
Martha: “I have no idea, but you better catch them soon. I
don’t want to end up on house arrest or having to pay for the
damages on my salary. It would be bad for my image!”
Music:
Dum-Da-Dum Dum
Martha:
(Mumbling to herself as she leaves) “It’s just one thing after
another around here.” (Shouts loudly) “Bubbas, Bubbas, come
here. The Tribune wants to talk to you.” (Exits)
Centurion: “You know, what she said is true. We need to close
this one fast. I have box seat tickets to the chariot races this
evening and my wife Sylvia will give me “what for” if I’m
late.”
Tribune: “Well, that’s the way it is in the fast paced, danger
filled, no appreciation world of a Cop!”
Music:
Dum-Da-Dum-Dum
Bubbus: (Enters wearing a toga and a baseball cap and walks
hurriedly over toward the Soldiers.)
Bubbus: (approaches and exclaims excitedly)) “I seen
it! I seen it! I seen it all!”
Tribune: “You saw what happened?”
Bubbus: “Yeah, I did! I was just standing over there watering
the flowers when here they come, all dressed in white and a-floatin
down from the sky.” (Looks up and imitates descending motion with hands.)
Centurion: “Can you describe them?”
Bubbus: “It was two young fellers and they looked like
angels. They motioned at the guards and both of them soldiers crumpled
down like they was pole-axed. I was so scared I couldn’t move.”
Tribune: “What happened then?”
Bubbus: “The one angel floated over and rolled away that big
ol’stone all by hisself. Then both of them sat down in front of the
tomb just as calm as you please. You ain’t never gonna believe what
happened then!”
Centurion: “Go on, but just the facts please.”
Bubbus: “OK, but you won’t believe me. No more than those
two sat down I heard a noise from inside the tomb. I wanted to
run, but my feet wouldn’t move. All at once a man wearing shining
white robe walks out of the tomb and the angels kneel down in front of
him. That’s when I knew I had to get going and tore out for
servant’s quarters to tell Martha.”
Tribune: “What happened then?
Bubbus: “I don’t rightly know, I told Martha and she sent
for ya’ll. I was so upset I had to go work on the other side of the
garden.”
Centurion: “Did anyone else see what happened?”
Bubbus: “I don’t think so, ‘cept maybe Cookus, our chef.
She got here a couple of hours before ya”ll. She’s up in the house
now. You want me to fetch her?”
Centurion: “Yes, tell her we want to speak to her.”
Bubbus: (Leaves for the kitchen to fetch Cookus.)
Cookus: (Enters wearing a toga with an apron across
the front. As she nears, she hands a piece of paper to the Centurion) I’m
Cookus. “A messenger just brought this message to the door
for you.” (Hands paper to Centurion).
Centurion to Tribune: “Oh Good, it’s the lab report. I’ll
read it while you question Cookus.”
Centurion to Cookus: “Oh by the way, Just the facts Maam!” (Walks
away a short distance to read report)
Tribune: “What time did you arrive here and did you see
anything unusual on the way here?”
Cookus: “When I got here I did notice the tomb had been
opened. I have to walk right by it coming to work. There were two
soldiers standing in front of the open tomb talking. They looked like
the just woke up and seemed really confused. I thought they might have
been drinking. You know how soldiers are!” (Tribune looks
offended) (Cookus realizes what she just said) Oh, excuse me Sir,
I didn’t mean ALL soldiers.”
Tribune: Did you see anything else unusual?
Cookus: “Well, on my way here I passed a woman coming from
the direction of the garden. She was crying and looked desperate. She
kept saying, "they’ve taken him!" they’ve taken him! She
walked right over to me, looked into my eyes and asked, “Do you know
where they’ve taken him?” I tell you, I was scared. She walked
away and didn’t even wait for an answer. I walked straight here
after that.”
Tribune: “That’s all for now, you may go but don’t leave the
premises.” (Cookus nods and leaves) Oh, and tell those two
soldiers who were guarding the tomb, the Tribune wants to talk to
them, NOW!
Centurion: (Holding paper, walks to side of Tribune and
speaks) “The lab guys are puzzled. They can’t find a trace of
anyone human inside the tomb or around the entrance. There was a
stained burial cloth, but it was of no value. They have no idea how
the stone was rolled back. No footprints, tool marks or pry marks.
There were no chariot tracks either. This investigation is getting
creepy!” I also learned that while they were investigating the
scene, two of the dead guy’s followers showed up, a guy named John
and another fellow. They looked inside the empty tomb. When they saw
nothing but empty linen they left really fast.”
Tribune: “I think it’s time to talk to the guards!”
Music: Dum-Da-Dum-Dum
Soldiers: (Approach marching in step. They stop and render
the cross-chest salute, which the Tribune and Centurion return).
Tribune: You were on guard duty when this incident
happened?
Soldiers: “Yes Sir!”
Centurion: “What are your names?”
Soldier-1: “My name is Frickus.”
Soldier-2: “My name is Frackus.”
Centurion: “Frickus and Frackus? (Chuckling) Sounds
like a Vaudeville act!
Tribune: “All right soldiers, what happened? Just the
facts!”
Frickus: “I’m not sure Sir. I haven’t got it straight in my mind
yet.”
Frackus: “We were standing guard duty at the tomb as we were ordered
(turns eyes upwards) when all of a sudden this bright light
appeared above us.”
Frickus: “It was real bright and Sir, I swear I saw an Angel
descending towards us.”
Frackus: “That’s right. We were frightened because we heard the
man in the tomb was some kind of a wizard and might cast a spell on
us. The Angel waved his hand (mimics gesture) and we both just
passed out.”
Frickus: “We just started to wake up when this crazy looking
guy wearing a toga and a baseball cap came running towards us
shouting, “I seen ‘em! The stone sealing the tomb had been rolled
away and the tomb was empty except for some burial wrappings.” We
didn’t know what to do.”
Frackus: “I know it sounds crazy, Sir but I think it was some kind
of magic.”
Tribune: “You had better have some magic of your own when the
Governor hears what happened. You two had better get back to the
barracks right now. You’re relieved from duty.” (Soldiers
salute and walk away slowly).
Centurion: “And see the Psychiatrist when you get there!”
Martha: (Approaches, carrying a note which she hands to the
Tribune) “I didn’t want to bother you, but while you were
talking to the others, this message came for you by courier. He asked
me to deliver it to you.” (Martha leaves).
Tribune: (Reds note and speaks) “It seems that
there are reported sightings of the supposed dead man coming in from a
number of sources and his followers are telling everyone that if they
will believe in him and be baptized, they too will have eternal
life”
Centurion: “If we didn’t know it was impossible, it would
almost seem that this guy had really risen from the dead and was
walking around the countryside. What will we put in our report?”
Tribune: “I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to tell
Governor Pilate that some agitator we executed and sealed in a tomb
with two armed guards outside has suddenly come back to life after
three days and is strutting around Jerusalem like he owns the
place.”
Centurion: “Me Neither. Lets just say his followers sneaked
in during the night, overpowered our guards, overcoming their heroic
resistance and stole the body. The guards might be suffering from loss
of memory caused by injuries received in the struggle. That way our
guys are in the clear and we say nothing about those superstitious
rumors of resurrecting the dead.”
Tribune: Sounds good to me. Case closed!
Centurion: “Lets go get a drink, stop by the shoe shop and
then report to Pilate.”
Music: Dum-Da-Dum-Dum
Narrator: Conclusion
“A person may hear the facts only and still not know what actually
happened. Others, too numerous to count, have had doubts. It is only
through a personal relationship with the Lord that the facts of the
resurrection of Jesus and our salvation by faith in him can be
understood and believed.”
Music: Dum-Da-Dum-Dum
The End
Copyright
2006 Richard Ruddle
ENKE38@aol.com
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